A Parent's Regret?

I sometimes wonder how often my parents regretted ever taking me for that first pony ride. If I ever find the picture I'll post it here. It shows a tiny little girl riding a pinto pony with her haggard father following along. There was a pony ride concession just outside the gate of Irvine Park way back then. The rides were set in an oval with three tracks for fast, medium & slow, the slow being for toddlers who had to have a parent walk along beside them. The walking job fell to my unfortunate father. My mother used to tell me how I LOVED that first ride. Pinto ponies became my new obsession (can a toddler even have an obsession?). After my one lap around the track it was time for my father to lift me from the saddle. I hear that didn't go well at all. It seems my penchant for temper tantrums hit full force, me screaming at the top of my lungs & throwing myself on the ground. YIKES! What's a young parent to do but put that squalling toddler back on the pinto pony. Ahhhhh, smiles & giggles & off that pinto pony went carrying the happy toddler with the poor father following along once again. There was no better luck getting the screaming, kicking toddler off the pinto pony after the second ride so once again that pinto pony headed around the track. I'm sure at this point my poor father was wishing he'd never had a child, let alone wishing he'd never put me on that pinto pony in the first place. After many promises of coming back another day, & after finally convincing me the pinto pony was tired, my parents took me home.

Over the next few years there were any number of rental horses. As much as I loved them all for the short time I was with them, they didn't satisfy my need for a horse of my own. Finally my parents gave in to my longing for a horse. I can remember hearing my father tell my mother that it was a waste of money because in 6 months I'd lose interest. What were they going to do with a horse then? Nevertheless my father worked 2 jobs, & sometimes even worked at the stable, to keep me in horses. I'm sure there were times he wished he were right & that I would lose interest. But he never complained. There were many times over the years that my mother would tell me I'd be better off financially if I'd just sell my horse. She would remind me of all the things I dreamed of doing, like world travel, & tell me that I could do them if I didn't have a horse. My reply was to tell her my horse was cheaper than seeing a shrink. Maybe both of my parents regretted that first pony ride for different reasons. My father for all he had to do to keep my horse, & later my mother because she saw I was always struggling to keep my horse. Both did eventually come to accept my obsession for horses. In fact, there's never a day goes by when my father doesn't ask how the horses are doing. He often speaks of them by name, even having his favorites. It was even my father who recently came up with the design for a special hoof device for a troubled filly. As I rethink the past, maybe my parents never did regret taking me for that first pony ride. Maybe they just had to realize that horses are me, & that to me horses are my world.

And to this day, I still like a pretty marked pinto.